July 24, 2014

Stella....OH STELLA!

Stella McCartney is KILLING ME HERE! If only I was super rich I would buy nearly everything she designs. It's so fantastic.  I am dying over that dino swimsuit and the rabbit shoes! Just stop Stella!

Hop on over to her website and check out her beautiful line


Nova dress
Arlo t-shirt
Imogen swimsuit
Flo Jumpsuit
Badger shoes
Snowflake tights
Petra tights
Hopper shoes

July 11, 2014

Happy birthday America

Trying to explain the fourth of July to a toddler...we came up with "Happy birthday America." Ronan is super into the idea of birthday parties these days, so it worked. He was really excited and kept shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'MERICA!" at the top of his lungs.  We spent a lovely evening with our family in Portland. The boys ran around like crazy people, wrestled and loved on each other all night...and had a great time watching the little fireworks that my sister and aunt brought.  It was the first year that Ronan didn't seem scared of the noise..although he still covered his ears.  He clapped and said "OH WOW!" after each firework. Pretty cute.

 Ronan and my nephew Gabe
sweet baby Gabe
my nephew Max....this photo has kind of a "risky business" feel to it or something...cracking up! Love this kiddo!



































 Baby Gabe and my sister. Isn't she pretty?
Ronan modeling his patriotic ensemble 
 watching fireworks

June 21, 2014

White hot summer

Weather in Portland has been all over the place lately and I'm dreaming of jetting away to some lovely and warm locale....margaritas, sand between my toes, fish tacos...somewhere I can rock my NEW WHITE BIKINI. Yes folks, I can't believe it...I bought a white bikini. Not only did I buy a white bikini, I bought see-through white lace cover-up (hee..what do they cover?) pants. YIKES! Got both at Target and was really surprised how flattering the bikini was. I really like it!  Since I can't jet off to somewhere like Mexico or Hawaii this year I'm thinking of taking Ronan on a road trip to San Francisco and Santa Cruz.  Ronan would adore Santa Cruz. Until then I'll be California dreamin' and envisioning myself wearing those white lace shorts, drinking Mexican coke, and swinging in a hammock.


Note on white bikinis: Make sure that you wear yours in the shower and look at yourself in the mirror BEFORE dipping into the pool with it, and keep your receipt. Trust me. There's hot and then there's horrify your grandmother. Let's keep it PG 13 ladies.

June 9, 2014

What we're wearing

Well people, it's summer here in Little Stumptown. But don't let that fool you. It's not time to don bikinis and tanning oil. I always have to laugh when I see Portlanders lining up to buy short-shorts and tanks in June, because PUH-LEASE people....it's not summer yet, not really. It's Oregon! Summer doesn't start until August (maybe).  June has some nice days but a lot of rainy, cold ones too. And nights are generally pretty cool.  So I'm still rocking sweaters right now and so is Ronan.


This is the world's most awesome sweater designed by Coos and Ahhs for Toto Knits.  I am totally in love with it. I really wish I could squeeze my grown-up self into it I love it so much.
Here we have it paired with our trusty Gap skinnies and the world's most awesome shoes (to match the world's most awesome sweater) These booties from Simple shoes are another one of Ronan's clothing items that I totally covet. I would rock these any day of the week.  It's hard to get a good idea of the cuteness from this photo. And maybe that's good....I don't want to torture you because sadly you can't get you some. Unfortunately, Simple is now out of business. Very sad. Their kids shoes were so fun.  I bought this particular pair before Ronan was born because I loved them so much. 

May 24, 2014

On loss

Loss is something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. For the past two years and especially in the last month.  The human experience is so widely varied and we all experience difference variations and degrees of loss.  I was discussing this topic with one of my very dearest the other day and we came to the conclusion that although someone else in the world is always suffering more that you are, and more than you ever will, every experience is valid. Sure, some pain may trump other pain, but when you are in the thick of it and every part of your body physically aches with sadness...it really does not matter.  I am currently in the process of scraping my poor little wasted heart and soul off of the pavement with a spatula. Well, at least that's what it feels like.  Many of the losses from a few years ago are finally hitting home and I am able to grieve them now with something other than stunned numbness.  It's become a physical act of shedding pain and I feel it down to my bones.  It's so odd to me that emotional pain can actually physically hurt, but really, it's very appropriate. Feelings are so very powerful. I've also felt the growing pains of changing relationships in my life.  People I was once close to drifting away. Misunderstandings. Rejection. Death. Loss of potential. Loss of hope. I am gutted and raw and aching. I choose to share this here because I often wonder how many peole are walking around feeling this way answering, "I'm fine, " when asked "how are you?" We are so afraid to be real anymore, to be honest. Scared we will frighten people. Scared we will look weak.

I am not fine. There. I said it. I am not fine.

My life is so entirely different now than it was three years ago, and I am finding that all of the big changes in my life, especially this last year have caused a flurry of emotions.  On one hand there is excitement, a feeling of achievement, hope....on the other hand..there is fear, there is doubt, there is loneliness. There is the monumental task of accepting things as they are, of accepting that my life may never be want I wanted it to be. I may never have another child, I may never marry...and how much of this is out of my control.

So now I am like a snake, shedding her old skin. I am remaking myself. And it hurts. Every second of every day. Peeling off old itchy and irritating skin, the new skin hot and red and sensitive to touch. I cry nearly every day now. Floods of tears. But it also feels like relief. Like a lightening. Like a new chance. Like a blank slate.  This process has become very literal to me as I feel a deep-seated need to purge out old things.  Old clothes, books, furniture...... they need to go. Items I never use, items I don't really like, items that serve as reminders of things that still sting or things that are long since dead and gone.  I am remaking myself. I want to look around my house and only see things that fill me with joy, that remind me of those that I love and have loved, that are useful, that are beautiful, that remind me of who I am and who I want to be, and what I want from this life. 

I am remaking myself.

April 25, 2014

What we're wearing

Not much to say here except...I LOVE Stitch Fix! Just got this lovely dress which is super fun and easy. Love this crazy pattern.  I paired it with black tights and black heels. Perfection.




































Check out Stitch Fix!

April 23, 2014

Kitty cat


1

I love parties. All kinds of parties. But show me a theme party with cute stuff and it takes me to Katie paradise.  I spotted this kitty party over at the Land of Nod blog the other day and I squeed (for noobs that is when you squeal and pee at the same time) Ok, maybe I didn't actually pee...but I did squeal. Check out this fun party over at
land of nod blog